February 4, 2010

I guess I'm at that point in my life where I'm really beginning to find out what kind of guy I am. I'm old enough to know what I want in one way or another. What I'm getting at is that I know I don't want "the one" yet, but, I do want to meet some of those girls that are content with being more than friends, and not necessarily in the sexual way either, more like the hang out cuddle session. Because honestly I can find cuddling just as satisfying as sex. I can't really explain it, that's just how I feel. Any of my friends can tell you I'm quite the emotional guy. To be honest, I wouldn't change it for anything, that's what makes me who I am. Without emotion you can't let others know how you feel. Originally what I was going to write about was the questions you tend to dwell upon immediately after a break up, if you got broken up with that is. And these questions even sometimes come up several months after a break up as well. I'm going through a bit of that now. I'm not too emotionally invested in what the answers might be, but more interested in the answers as a tool to grow with. If I know what they're concerns were about the relationship, exactly why we broke up, or how they felt most of the time, well, then I can change it in later relationships. Would I go back with any of my past girlfriends? Hell no, in every relationship I've had they haven't ended real well. My last one did at first, until I found out she had cheated on me. I found out about it after we were already broken up, but the incident happened while we were still together. So when confronted about it she freaked out and other shit happened later on, which I believe I refer to in an earlier post documenting the text messages I received about working with her. Anyway, these kind of things raise questions like did you really love me? or why would you do something like that? or will you be completely honest about what went on? There are hundreds upon hundreds more questions, but not a point in listing them.
I guess the next question would be why do guys like me get passed up so easily? I treat women with the utmost respect. I may be a bit old-fashioned in some ways, but that is how I was raised, and from what I've seen from other people it's a good thing. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong to get the gorgeous girl. Anyway, I hope you comment on this, maybe answering my last question, either way I'm fine if you don't. I figured I would post an entry since it's been quite sometime.
Oh, by the way, all of the financial aid problems are taken care of, I should be registered by some time this week, it's finally happening.