September 5, 2010

It's been a really long time since I've been on here. Summer is a difficult time to get on the computer because I always want to be outside. School started two weeks ago but I've been busy with that so I just haven't been on. My summer in summary was pretty alright, I worked a lot at Luthy Botanical Garden which made it my fifth summer there, so overall it was pretty much the same. Other than that I occasionally hung out with friends. Lately is a little more interesting though.

Once again I don't have financial aid finished and it's two weeks into school. Why isn't it finished? Because for some reason, even though I'm now a Junior in college my Mom decided that she would take her time once again, then makes the excuse that the amount went up. It's been pretty difficult for me lately as far as dealing with my mother goes. For some reason she seems more hesitant to help me out than she does my younger brother Jake. He seems to get all the breaks and it drives me nuts, but there's not much I can do about it other than complain. So when I consistently bug her about getting financial aid taken care of I get smart remarks all the time. Or when I confronted my brother about the night I let him borrow my car and he didn't do anything he told me he was going to do with it. Instead of teaching him a lesson she instead yelled at me for "putting everyone in the middle of it". I don't understand her, the only thing I can think is that he's had her so jaded because of the fact that her baby is now going away to college. Big deal if you ask me, he needs to grow up, she's babied him so much he's afraid to go away to college. Yet I'm sitting here wondering how I'm going to come up with the money for rent and school, it's stressful, and makes me feel sick, but that's put on the wayside. I wish I was able to do all of this on my own, but I'm nowhere near financially stable enough.

As far as everything else goes I've been busy as hell with school, that's about all I've got for that. I've been talking to this girl for quite some time now. I don't know where it'll go, all I know is I'm beginning to like her and I'm afraid she doesn't reciprocate the feeling which would suck, but I'd much rather be friends than that awkward acquaintance anyway. So I don't really know what to do with that whole situation.

Overall my life has been pretty shitty, and it's got me down in the dumps, but like every other time I'll just let things roll and eventually come out on the other side of the tunnel.